sending rain

She ran, hearing the sound of her feet and her heart as they began to beat one. She ran without purpose and without direction. All she knew was that she needed to get the voices out of her head. As her feet hit the ground the images raced through her aching mind. She could feel the pull of the earth beneath her, calling her to stop. The trees of dark green stood tall above her. The sky was dark as the clouds full with rain rolled in.

Listen to me.

She kept running, away from the knowledge of where she needed to be, away from the one she needed to turn to. She shook her head. I need rain. I need answers.

Listen to me.

The air around her was cold and moist. She could sense the storm was near. She had no destination or purpose. The hole in her heart was growing by the day and all she wanted to do was fill it, but she was afraid to.

Listen to me.

Why?

I know you better than you know yourself.

But what if you change my plans?

Maybe I’ll provide something even better.

The pull of the earth overtook her as she slowed to a stop. Out of breath, she fell to her knees in the dark of the forest. The mud lay beneath her as the sky began to open up to the water above and hot tears rolled down her cheeks.

I’m afraid.

I know.

The voice was strong and calm. It pushed at her gently until she silenced herself to hear it. She stayed kneeled down on the ground. The rain was falling now. I want peace.

It’s not time for that yet.

She continued to cry. Her face was red with frustration. Why isn’t it time yet? I can’t do this…please…

I need you to trust me. Let me lead your life.

I’m scared.

I know. And I know your desires. Who said I was to change your plan?

You haven’t given me answers.

Have you asked me?

She sat on the ground in sadness. A sense of overwhelming grief rose inside her. She hung her head in reply…no…I haven’t asked you…

You must trust that I know what’s best for you. You run, in fear, from the things that are the best for you, the things that I have given to change you and make you better. You must stop running. Do you even know where you are going?

She was ashamed now, of forgetting where her strength came from; the glory that lay just beneath her, the power that came from the earth. No, I don’t know where I’m going.

Do you think I would ever hurt you? The voice began to push now, with fierceness not present before. Do you know how much I cherish you…and the desires of your heart?

She looked back up at the sky. Yes…

Hunger, thirst, passion…you run with such determination. Run after me… I promise you I will bless you, I will give you what you long for.

She felt the burden released from her as the earth encouraged her to stand. Run now…I gave you rain. I gave you courage. The things you want are not always what you need. The way in which I choose to raise you and protect you may at first cause you pain, but trust me. I will provide.

She was quiet as she stood. There was no response.

The earth nudged her. Speak to me.

Will you make your heart and mine one?

She could feel the joy in the earth’s response as it embraced her. The wind carried the rain as the drops slowed to a stop. Yes, your heart and mine will always be one… Forever.

I’ll never be good enough.

I’ve never asked you to be. I take you, just as you are.

I want to be someone different.

Then I will help you.

I want hope to shine in me when there is none.

It already does.

She smiled then, as the sun slowly peaked through the grey, trying to shine it’s light through the forest ceiling. You’re all I need.

And I will never leave you. I will always provide, just maybe not in the ways you expect. Now run, in the direction of me.

She nodded her head and began to run…with hope, with courage and with strength. She still had no idea where she was going, but that was the beauty of it. She didn’t need to know, she just needed to trust and the earth would direct her path.

The forest cleared in front of her. Run. And so her journey began…

© 2008