i giorni

It's crazy looking back at the journey of this blog. So much in so few years. I've come into a new place, a new leg of the journey; a new adventure. I'm not sure when the transition took place, or how it even began. All I know is that I'm happy. And healed in a way I didn't even know I needed to be.

Life has thrown me for such a crazy loop and yet I look back fondly on the struggle. I'm learning all these wonderful things about myself, about what I'm capable of, about who I am and want to be.

I'm in love with the most amazing man. A man who brings out the best of me, who compliments my crazy nature in such a perfect and profound way. It's new, and exciting. I'm so blessed, so extremely and deeply blessed by his presence in my life. I'm ready for whatever is on the horizon for us, and for the first time in my life I'm taking it all in stride. One moment, one inside joke, one day at a time. Did I already say how happy I was?

And my writing. How do I even express how much fulfillment I have found in poetry? It's like it all came rushing at me one day. A wave of purpose and direction, and in an instant I had found this wholeness in reaching for my destiny. Profound Muse has gathered quite a following. And as my attentions turn to sharing my writing with the world, so does the course of this blog.

I'm a happy girl. Lucky, blessed, fulfilled. And I'm excited to share my next adventure with you. Whomever you are. It's time to awaken my voice, and my words, and share the pieces of my soul I've captured on paper "with my own two hands."

We move onward, and upward. And I thank you for sticking on this journey with me.

Here's to life, and living.

MO.

a struggle towards a dream

I sit in a quiet room, a bedside lamp and an aching memory. The depths of me are clawing at the surface of my mind, my fingertips pulsing with fervor. All I want is to grasp what is hanging in the distance. Put a name to the feelings that stir in the silent parts just beneath the depth. Struggling towards a dream.

It’s now, in the quiet of the night that everything pours over. That the walls close in, that the need to breath, to move, to feel, overwhelms me. There’s an image, faint and pure, waiting for me in the valley. Clearing as I calm my mind and my heart. It’s you, the haunted memory of you. The marking on my wrist taunts me, as I try to forget and ache to remember. Live it says. And I struggle towards that dream.

My mind pulls me back there often, back to place it all started to fall apart. Back to place that holds my fears. In the moments of silence, when my heart is uneasy and my mind is weary, that I’m drawn back to the place where my emotions held all the power. Where the purest form of faith and trust I ever had was broken and stripped away. It’s on nights like this, when my fingers refuse to stop moving, when my heart finds it impossible to slow down, that I see how very real that mark should be. Live it says. And every day is filled with the struggle towards that dream.

in between

"Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength."

Sigmund Freud

healing, breathing, living

"Of one thing I am certain, the body is not the measure of healing, peace is the measure." Phyllis McGinley

As I walk this path of grieving I've found so much joy in surrounding myself with people who see the brighter side of life and trials. It's been such a rough year. One full of so much loss and heartache. And yet, standing where I am now, looking back at everything I've learned makes all of it so worth it.

I've come a long way once again in discovering who I am, living a little more brightly everyday, breathing more deeply at every turn, healing the deepest parts of my soul that were left barren and dry. I'm whole. And now as I'm turning the pages to 24, I feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

It's the measure of my life that gives me peace. It's knowing that I've worked hard to surround myself with those who love me, support me, cherish my place in their lives. And so much more, surrounding myself with people who see the worth of living as much as I do. My circle gets smaller as I get older and yet so much more profound with every passing day. I find peace now, in knowing I'm living my purpose, I'm surrounded by love, and I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

It's this peace that brings me healing, and it's this healing that reminds me how important it is to breathe deeply and live brightly.

MO.