something heavenly

"It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender..."

When I first heard this song, there was something unspoken that drew me to it. I didn't even listen to the words at first, just let Matt's voice (Sanctus Real) seep into me. There was a tone, and I like to say a call to my Spirit, that made me listen closely. No matter how many times it happens, I am always amazed how God speaks to my heart. He knows what I need to hear, exactly when I need to hear. He knows my introspectvive soul, and he knows how music wakes me from the slump I put myself in. In those moments, all I can do is surrender.

"Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly..."

Isn't it strange how the oxymoron of our emotions can somehow exist? This is exactly how I felt when I started studying culture and communications. I felt so at chaos and yet, as I said last week, I feel at peace.

"Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To..."

Matt speaks of something I think all of us experience. A wanderer's heart, that aimlessly climbs over the mountains. What goal am I after? Why is God allowing me to experience pain and hardship? What is it I am supposed to learn? I know that everything is for my well-being, and my Father wants nothing more than to speak to my heart. I am at a quiet place today, understanding that there are many things God wants to show me. There has been a long season of not knowing what it is he is doing inside of me. But I believe he is ready to show me.

"Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears"

I think he, no I know, he was waiting for me to face up. To seek him in everything again. To release all the things that were holding me back. He knew there were things on my heart that I still needed to bring to him. It's an amazing moment to get to share with you, whoever you are, the moment where my Savior tells me I am ready to hear what he knows I have been waiting for--why am I climbing this mountain?

"Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This *is* something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly"

So, in the quiet of my heart, and the readiness of my soul, he told me.
...Seek me, know that I am always with you, I love you beyond the beauty of the sunrise you saw this morning, beyond the stars you gaze at tonight, and I am preparing you for the work you have to do for me. There are people you will reach with what you have gained. You will give them that hope and fight you hold inside of your own heart. They will see ME in you, once you reach the top of this mountain. I know this mountain has been a hard climb for you, and I know your heart is ready for peace again. But you are right, this is bigger than you. I have so much for you to gain from everything that has been overwhelming and confusing you. I know you trust me, and I know you love me. Hold onto that reminder of something heavenly. Look for the sunrise I give you tomorrow. I will be there with you. No more chaos. I am here.

"It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time *to* breathe in and let everything out"

Song Lyrics © Sanctus Real "Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly)"