where i stood

A letter to you.

It's  ironic how Missy Higgins was the voice of reason that told me I loved you. Driving to your house one day and hearing her voice, I just knew. And it was driving home one day, hearing her sing that I was reminded it's really over...

Her words are a bit more eloquent than I can seem to make mine...

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood 

There is so much love in my heart for you, and it's the small things that I think will remind me of you for a long time. I see Law & Order and can't help but think of your mom, I saw your comment on a Boundless article recently and I remember endless discussions coming from the things we read. It will be your insane love for shoes, Monster energy drinks, the beach, and me that I will treasure.  I adore you. I always have, and I know that at least now I can look back fondly on all the things you taught me, the gifts you gave me, and I can be grateful for the person you were in my life. There is nothing but my hope for your amazing future left now. 

But now I know I need to live life single. I need to find out where that road leads me. I need to discover my own definition of who I should be. But I fully believe there is someone who will compliment you in ways I was never able to. And she will love you more than I could. You have such a wonderful future ahead of you, full of promise and happiness with someone whom you cherish. I am always here should you need me. And I have loved you more than anyone I have loved at all...

Mo.