a joy unending

Do you ever wonder about how God chose us? As majestic and wondrous as He is, He chose us. His love, unconditional and endless, is truly amazing.

I entered this year full of pain, grieving and broken and now here I am full of a joy so overwhelming and perfect I can’t even put words to the way my heart feels. It is the presence of His love that made all the difference; He chose me, and he drew me closer to Him.

I was so fearful eight months ago, that I would never want marriage again, that my future was this melancholy blank canvas that was sure to not be as wonderful as it could have been. I couldn’t see anything in front of me, and that reality was something I was deeply scared of.

I can’t even begin to put words to the incredible things God has done to my heart, to my dying spirit, my lost passion for writing. He brought this gentle and comforting Love to me. And in the moment when I wanted to push Him away He held me tightly, knowing more than anything, I needed my Papa. He reminded me of the one constant part of my identity, I was His child, and He loved me.

I am 23 this year, two weeks ago to be exact, and for the first time I feel my age. I feel the excitement that comes with being 23, I claim the wisdom that has come with the things I’ve endured, I feel curious about the future, I feel free. But most of all I feel joy. An exciting and wonderful joy, that even in chaos remains.

An amazing musician wrote this song where he describes how beautiful our God is, how amazing it is that He loved us first and how because of Him “every smile is arrayed with a joy like wedding bells.” The simple fact that I can feel a joy like that is testament in itself to God’s grace and His love.

I’m still in this place of unknowing. I don’t yet see my future much farther ahead than the next week. But each day He gives me a piece of the puzzle, lights my path a little bit farther ahead, heals my broken spirit in another way. I am so blessed, so unbelievably blessed by God to be in the place in life that I am right now.

I am no longer just a wandering soul. I have a passion for people, a gift of prophecy, a love of words that encourages and heals, a voice that yearns to raise its praises to our Father, and a heart so full of His love and joy. I am the best I have ever been, and the wonderful part is that I have no idea what’s next. And I’m okay with that. I loved by my Father, and that is more than enough.

Blessings.

Mo